Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Beginnings

There couldn't be a more appropriate time to begin a blog about my life's unexpected journey than now. Yesterday marks 4 years since my life was irrevocably changed. 4 years ago I began my unexpected journey. 4 years ago I saw this precious girl for the very first time.
This adorable, pouty face came into my life and made me a mama 4 years ago. Every year on her birthday, I have a little moment where I stop and reflect on the day she was born. It was such a whirlwind. There are things you expect in a birth. Pain and joy are probably the two most common emotions you are certain you will experience and I definitely did. What you don't expect is a complicated labor, your baby not breathing at birth, feeding issues, and ultimately finding out that your child has special needs. Thus began the search for a diagnosis (which we still don't have), the myriad of doctors, therapists, and specialists visits, and my journey to finding myself and a relationship with God again.

I feel like I can't even put into words what a special little girl I've been entrusted with here on Earth. How did I get chosen to care for an angel? Let alone an angel who needs so much help to fly. I am just so thankful that God never took his eyes off of me even when my eyes were so far off of Him. I would have told you I couldn't do this. I would have said that I'm not strong enough. I would have said "I'm already unexpectedly a single mom, and now this too?" The truth is that all along it wasn't my strength I needed to worry about. I serve an amazing God who gives me the strength I need. Little did I know that this child would teach me the most powerful lessons of my life. I had no idea she would help shape me, mold me and mature me into who I was meant to be. I couldn't have known that she would do far, far more for me than I will ever be able to do for her. She's given me my passion, my purpose, and most importantly, my faith back. I can never repay her, but I sure do plan to spend the rest of my life trying.

Here's to my brave, bold, and beautiful little miracle: McLaine Caroline. Thank you for showing me that grace can be found in the unexpected journey.
 
 
 
 
 


2 comments:

  1. Lauren-

    This was a beautiful post. I can so identify with what you said. I love the sentence you wrote about being thankful God never took his eyes off you, even when you took your eyes off him. Amen-I feel the same way. So excited you started a blog! :)

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    1. Thank you Julie. That's been big for me. I was on the wrong path so many years and just looking back and seeing in so many little ways that God never left me is an amazing feeling. I hope people will enjoy reading my ramblings and maybe get something out of it lol

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